one step at a time.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009


I recently came into contact with some kids from a background of parental neglect and drug abuse. They were lovely kids but had nowhere to live after being removed from their parents. My need to fix things meant I wanted to offer them my house, to look after them and to make it all better. I understand that the home won't make it all better, but it would make it a bit better.

In the week we spent with the siblings they thrived on attention and were affectionate and interested, but they needed occupying constantly. They were charming and entertaining and generally well behaved.

The reality is we don't have the space in this flat, or the time in our lives to dedicate to children. I know the kids we met have found a foster family and hope that they're settling in well.

I would like to register my interest in foster caring, to find out more about it to decide whether we could make the changes we'd need to to do it. My boyfriend won't even consider it saying that he wouldn't cope with giving kids back. My sister says she thinks I am unfair even suggesting he foster, as he is notoriously shy. He does not rule out adoption in the same way.

Tonight I saw some Channel4 programmes about fostering and adoption and it was positive although it tugged the heartstrings! Not all the kids would be difficult and angry, right? Surely most are just normal kids who need a home....

What are your thoughts on fostering? Do you have first-hand experience?


Travis said...

I've never considered foster parenting, but I did explore the Big Brother program. It turned out that I wouldn't have enough time to see it through properly, and that was a bit disappointing.

I don't think there's anything wrong with finding out as much as you can about it. And then the two of you can decide if it's the right thing for you to do.

Strictly said...

No experience, but good on you for thinking of it.

Annelisa said...

I've known about four people who fostered kids, and most are lovely. There was one...but there's always one, huh? I really think it depends on each case...

The people I knew who fostered regularly kept in touch with the kids after they left.

There's often a lot of negotiating with biological parents too, so you'd need to take that into account too. Some of the kids regularly were taken to meetings with their parents, and it took a fair bit of emotional strength as well as time.

Akelamalu said...

I have no experience of fostering but have always admired people who do. Good on you for considering it. :)