one step at a time.

Saturday, February 14, 2009


I started this blog around when I became self employed, so was going through big changes in my life. My brother had a blog and inspired me to try it out for myself. I loved it. I loved the easiness with which I could record what was going on, and I loved the interaction with people from all round the world.

Recently this has been replaced by a desire NOT to tell people things I would like to record. I can't put them here unless I'm happy for everyone to see them - and clearly I'm not. After receiving an email a month or so ago in which things I have put on my blog have been taken out of context and used to form negative opinions of me and my life, I've been toying with the idea of sacking this blog and starting again somewhere else anonymously. The option to stop blogging altogether has occurred to me and is also tempting.

For now, I'll just leave things as they are, as quick catch ups and Brownie records. In time perhaps I'll record some of the things that I find more personal too.


The Guider said...

((hugs)) - I try not to put on anything I wouldn't want to be repeated back to me. Sometimes that's hard and it means I need to stay quiet about stuff I'd like to pour out.

Don't disappear - I like interacting with you!

Akelamalu said...

Oh what a shame you don't feel able to blog about what you want to. You could always go private. :(

TopChamp said...

Guider - It's me being weird. Nobody's been horrible and I haven't said anything I'm embarrassed about. I'm just angry.

AK - I don't like the idea of a private blog. I think it'd be difficult to keep up the momentum to write properly if there weren't friends popping in to visit - it has to be my favourite thing about blogging just now.

Travis said...

People who would judge you for what you write on your blog would judge you for what you said to them in person.

In either case, they would be wrong to judge you. Don't let people like that have power over you.

If you choose no longer to blog, I hope you would choose it because it's right for you now and not because of what someone else said to you.

TopChamp said...

Trav - You're right. Absolutely.

I couldn't really work out how to put into words what's been bugging me. I'm losing the fun here and want it back. I'm not ready to give up I don't think, because I want so much to fix this and to enjoy it again.

Blogging used to make me happy. It was a release and a distraction. I liked to think about what was good about my day, to check my posts and to try avoid sloppy writing. Now I am happy to catch up with my friends but I rarely seek out a new blog and I can't remember the last real opinion I put out here.

I'll work it out. Just felt it was time to come clean on what's been going on.

Tawny said...

Tell who ever it is who has said something to bugger off. its your blog, you say and do what you like. Besides I like reading it. Us Guiders need to stick together!